Self Defense on the Highway©:
by Jerry Beasley, Ed.D.,
America’s "Self Defense on the Highway" Expert

I was 17. I had just earned my driver’s license, and that made me king of the road. I was smarter than other drivers, and I was faster, too—or so I thought. One evening I was late for a gig. With music blaring I sped out of the driveway and on to the highway where I could make up for lost time spent in front of the mirror.

Within seconds I came to a stop light. So did he. I saw him get out of his car and slam the door. I thought about running the red light. Retreat is always an honorable form of self defense. Too late! He was at my door. Both of his hands were strategically placed on top of my car. He dared me to move.

He was wearing a well worn tank top. The thing I remember most is that there was so much hair protruding from his shoulders and out of the top of his shirt. It appeared as if his neck was growing out from a patch of well watered turf grass. No doubt about it, I had inadvertently contracted a confrontation with an alpha male. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. I got the message as he glared in at me through my window. He pecked on the window and motioned for me to roll it down. By this time I was unable to think coherently. I rolled the window down almost two inches, and through God’s perfect grace I blurted out these words: "Man, that was incredible driving! You saved my life. I am sorry. I didn’t even see you."

At that point the man looked both ways. I could hear him tapping my roof with his fingers—a signal that my execution had been commuted. He dropped his head and looked at me again, perhaps not having expected my confessions. His only word was, "Okay." Having decided I was no threat and that I was sorry for my mistake he walked back to his car.

As the light turned green (symbolic of my rebirth as a courteous driver) I pulled away, sensing a sort of bonding with my aggressor. I had created a problem. He had solved it by superior driving skills. I paid him back by my affirmation that he was in control—a worthy driver who may have saved the life of a kid. For a few seconds we shared a future. Communicating the right message had made the difference.

Self-Defense Scenarios

In my 32 years of experience as a self-defense instructor I have recorded hundreds of case studies. To simplify this discussion I will categorize the encounters into two descriptive types. The first type of scenarios I refer to as stimulus- response, or SR encounters. Acts of discourteous driving serve as stimuli which may result in potentially aggressive responses.

As I detailed in the introductory scenario, I created a stimulus through my action. I cut off another driver. His reaction was to confront me for my discourteous and careless act. While the encounter could have escalated into road rage, it did not. By communicating remorse I de-escalated the situation and alleviated the perceived threat to the other driver.

Type 1 Scenarios

The Type 1 respondent has typically (and rightfully so) interpreted the stimulus (poor driving) as a threat. The threat may be perceived in any of the following ways:

• a threat to the safety of the driver;
• a threat to the safety of others in the vehicle;
• a threat to the driver’s commonly held belief system concerning courtesy,
• a sense of fair play, "an eye for an eye" perception of justice;
• a perceived threat which the driver obtains from passenger(s) in the vehicle.

To depreciate the anxiety presented in the Type 1 scenario it behooves the prudent driver to immediately attempt to de-escalate the situation by communicating an absence of threat. In most cases a swift "I am sorry" is the proper response. This is precisely the type of encounter for which the Polite Lite™ and the Courtesy Code© were designed.

It must be understood that failure to alleviate the threat imposed by discourteous driving may result in an escalation of aggression.
Far too many "simple mistakes" (Example: I cut you off.) have escalated into aggressive—even deadly—scenarios due to a lack
of swift and proper response.


Type 2 Scenarios

A second category of aggression I refer to as the predator/prey scenario, or Type 2. The predator/prey encounter is most readily identified when a criminal lays in wait for a victim on the highway. Some drivers become so emotionally charged with what most would recognize as a simple discourteous act that they take on the attributes of a predator stalking his/her prey.

If you think that the "mini-van Mom" can’t become the predator, you should consider the facts. Armed with a 2,000-pound weapon (van) and perhaps reacting to a perceived threat to her children (passengers) she may be just as aggressive as a grizzly bear protecting her cubs. Provide a weapon (usually the vehicle, sometimes a gun or other deadly device) and even the most timid looking senior citizen may become the predator consumed with rage on the highway.

In a small percentage of Type 1 scenarios in which the responding driver interprets the stimulus (discourteous driving) as a threat to his/her perception of justice, the level of controlled aggression may lead to rage (an absence of control over aggressive behavior). In this encounter the responding driver fails to perceive the threat as a single incident. The onset of rage is signaled by the responding driver’s lack of ability to distinguish the incident as singular and therefore redeemable. To the driver consumed with rage the discourteous act may symbolically represent any number of other stress causing acts (including
distress created in both the home and work environments) that are carried over and focused onto a single highway incident. Someone may have taken advantage of the responding driver before, but not this time. The discourteous driver becomes the hopeless victim, or prey.

A simple "I am sorry" may have little success in alleviating the rage. Just as the predator seeks to terminate and consume the prey, the Type 2 aggressor can find escape from rage only after the predator attitude has been satisfied or removed.

Unfortunately, once the discourteous driver has been mislabeled as "prey" there is no easy way out. As long as the "prey" runs, attempts ineffective aggression, or continues to exhibit signs of being a victim, the predator (road rage aggressor) will most likely continue his/her pursuit.

In the Type 2 encounter two things are always true. First, you must avoid appearing as prey (a victim). Second, if the aggressive driver (predator) mislabels you as prey/victim you must effectively communicate that you will not become prey. Not a simple task.

The best advice for responding to aggressive drivers is to avoid escalating behavior. In other words, give the aggressive driver space. Do not respond aggressively to the highway bully (lane changers, tailgaters, reckless speeders, etc.).

Many of us recognize a desire to fight back against aggression. In very few cases is aggression the answer to highway violence. Let’s imagine that you are confronted by a person with a gun. You also have a gun. Would you consider firing a few shots at the gunman so as to let him know you are not afraid to fight back? Of course not. The gunman would likely interpret your aggression as a threat and fire back. Consider the vehicle as the bully’s weapon. Do not use your own vehicle as a weapon and begin to fire back at the aggressor.

Concentrate on being a courteous driver. Give the bully space, and avoid a confrontation. I should mention that one user of the Polite Lite™ reported that he flashed his Polite Lite™ twice when approached by a tailgater. The message was,"Thank you" for not tailgating. The tailgater pulled back even though he probably did not know the meaning of the flashes.

We need to create a culture of courtesy to counteract the current conditions of anonymity and aggression which plague our highways.

Self Defense Tip #1

Carry a cell phone. As long as the aggressor perceives that you are unable to fight back you remain a victim. The cell phone can be used to report the incident or contact the police or someone else to help. Potential support/backup is a deterrent. If you do not have a cell phone you should purchase a "toy" cell phone.

Most department stores carry a variety of toy phones. These fake phones appear real. The aggressor may not be able to distinguish between this "toy" phone and a real one. If you are stopped and confronted by an aggressive driver remember that toy phones ring, so it appears that it could be the police calling you back.

You feign a conversation, saying things like "Yes, officer, he is driving a black truck…" You get the picture.

To be continued …

In future installments Dr. Beasley will critique specific road rage incidents. If you have been the victim of road rage or you had to defend yourself on the highway, e-mail your scenario to Dr. Beasley . We will select some scenarios for critique and discussion.

(Copyright 2001 J.L. Beasley) No portion may be reprinted without permission.